What is the most important conversation you have ever had?

I can think of a few that stand out in my own life. Back in Christmas 2005, I traveled to Boise, Idaho to meet my then-girlfriend’s family — a young woman named Megan Smith. A few months later, we were talking seriously about marriage, and I made a phone call to her father to ask for his blessing. He was surprised enough that he and Megan’s mom flew out so we could have that conversation in person. I remember sitting in a hotel room with Roger Smith while Megan and her mom went shopping. It was an important conversation. I’m glad I passed the interview.

Maybe you have a conversation like that in your own story — one that changed your relationships, your direction, or your life. Maybe it was with a mentor who gave you exactly the right advice at the right time.

But for those of us who follow Christ, there is one category of conversation that rises above all others: the conversation that helped us come to trust in Jesus as our Savior.

The Most Important Question

I cannot think of a more crucially important subject than what happens to a person after they die. Is there a heaven and hell? How does someone enter the Kingdom of God?

When you step back and look at the world’s religions, they really fall into only two categories:

• The religion of works — you are made right with God by doing enough good to outweigh your bad.
• The religion of faith — you are made right with God by the righteousness of another.

Starting in John 3, we encounter one of the most important conversations ever recorded in human history. It has been studied, preached, and wrestled with for centuries. Warren Wiersbe recounts a fascinating anecdote about Benjamin Franklin and the British preacher George Whitefield:

“I find that you grow more and more famous in the learned world,” Whitefield wrote to Franklin. “As you have made such progress in investigating the mysteries of electricity, I now humbly urge you to give diligent heed to the mystery of the new birth. It is a most important and interesting study and, when mastered, will richly repay you for your pains.”

Whitefield was exactly right. And the conversation in John 3 gets to the heart of that mystery.

Two questions form the core of what Jesus and Nicodemus discuss:

1. How does a person get into the Kingdom of God?
2. How does someone know they are going there?

How Does a Person Get Into the Kingdom of God?

The Context: A Nighttime Visit (John 3:1–2)

There was a man of the Pharisees, named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews: The same came to Jesus by night, and said unto him, Rabbi, we know that thou art a teacher come from God: for no man can do these miracles that thou doest, except God be with him. — John 3:1–2

Nicodemus was not just any religious leader. He was a Pharisee — part of a conservative, theologically orthodox Jewish class that held both religious and political authority in Israel. These were men who knew the Scriptures and took them seriously.

He came to Jesus at night, likely to avoid being seen. But notice what he says when he arrives. He calls Jesus “Rabbi” — a term of respect — and then makes what would have been a significant concession from someone in his position: “We know that thou art a teacher come from God.”

The “we” is striking. He’s not just speaking for himself. He seems to be speaking on behalf of his entire circle — the Pharisees. The miracles Jesus was performing were accomplishing exactly what they were meant to: they authenticated His authority.

And yet — as significant as this admission was — it was not enough. It may have felt like a great concession to Nicodemus, but it did not go far enough. God is the authority on how a person enters into relationship with Him, not man. To be a little bit off is to miss heaven entirely.

1. The Necessity of New Birth (v. 3)

Jesus cuts straight to the heart of the matter:

Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. — John 3:3

The phrase “born again” is rich in the original Greek. The word translated “again” (ἄνωθεν, anōthen) can also mean “from above.” So Jesus is simultaneously saying: you must be born a second time, and that second birth must come from above — from God Himself.

Jesus frames this truth with “Verily, verily” — a double “amen.” He is doubling down on the certainty of what He is about to say. We might put it this way: “You can take this to the bank.” And what He is banking everything on is this: without a new birth, no one will see the Kingdom of God.

2. The Agency of New Birth (v. 4–6)

Nicodemus responds the way any of us might:

Nicodemus saith unto him, How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother’s womb, and be born? — John 3:4

He is not being foolish — he is being honest. The idea is physically absurd, and he knows it. So what does Jesus mean?

Jesus answered, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. — John 3:5–6

Jesus is drawing a distinction between two kinds of birth. Being “born of water” refers to physical birth — every person who has ever drawn a breath has been born that way. But physical birth is only the beginning. A person must also be born spiritually, and that second birth is the work of the Holy Spirit.

The parallelism in verse 6 makes it plain: flesh produces flesh, but the Spirit produces spirit. If you have only been born physically, you are alive in body but dead in spirit.

This is confirmed elsewhere in Scripture:

In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise, Which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory. — Ephesians 1:13–14

Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost; Which he shed on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Saviour. — Titus 3:5–6

We are saved by grace through faith. When we hear the Word of God, the Spirit draws us. When we respond in faith — repenting of sin and trusting in Christ — the Holy Spirit regenerates us and seals us until the day we enter into the Kingdom He has prepared.

3. The Visibility of New Birth (v. 7–10)

Jesus then offers an illustration to help Nicodemus understand how this works:

Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again. The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth: so is every one that is born of the Spirit. — John 3:7–8

You cannot see the wind. But you can see what the wind does. You can hear it. You can watch branches bend and leaves shake. The wind’s effects are undeniable, even when the wind itself is invisible.

The same is true of the Spirit. We do not see regeneration happen in real time. We cannot take a photograph and determine from it whether someone is saved. But over time, the evidence of genuine new birth becomes visible — in relationships, in priorities, in stewardship, in the direction of a person’s life. The Spirit of God living within a person affects everything.

This is exactly what James describes:

Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone. Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works. Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble. — James 2:17–19

The effect does not make the cause — but it does indicate the cause. Works do not earn salvation. But genuine salvation produces transformation. It is not from the outside in; it is from the inside out.

Nicodemus answered and said unto him, How can these things be? And Jesus answered and said unto him, Art thou a master of Israel, and knowest not these things? — John 3:9–10

There are systems of religion that look impressive from the outside. There are people sincerely trying to do good. But if the Spirit has not moved — if there has been no genuine new birth — there is no eternal transformation. Religion will not get you there. Good works will not get you there. You must be born again.

How Does Someone Know They Are Going There?

The Spirit’s work is the evidence. Romans 8 ties it together beautifully:

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together. — Romans 8:14–17

The Spirit Himself bears witness with your spirit. The leaves shake. The branches bend. There is evidence of the Spirit of God at work in the life of someone who has been born from above.

A Final Word

If you have only been born physically, you will die in your sins — separated from God. If you have been born physically and spiritually, you will see the Kingdom of God.

If the Spirit is drawing you right now — convincing you of your need, convicting you of your sin — do not harden your heart.

For he is our God; and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand. To day if ye will hear his voice, harden not your heart. — Psalm 95:7–8

The most crucial conversation you can ever have is the one where you come face to face with Jesus Christ and the question He puts to every person: Will you be born again?

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This post is part of an ongoing series through the Gospel of John — “That Ye May Believe.”

There was a man of the Pharisees, named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews: 2 The same came to Jesus by night, and said unto him, Rabbi, we know that thou art a teacher come from God: for no man can do these miracles that thou doest, except God be with him. (John 3:1-2)

In these first couple of verses, we see the context for one of the most incredible conversations that has ever been recorded. There are two subjects talking in this conversation. We’re introduced to the first one in verse 1. His name was Nicodemus.

We are told in the first verse that he was a man of the Pharisees and a ruler of the Jews. This guy’s peers were the Pharisees. The Pharisees were a religious class that were fairly conservative in their beliefs. They were orthodox, they loved the Old Testament, they loved the law, they thought that they were right, and they were very self-assured of that idea. In fact, they enjoyed not just religious, but political power. Though subjugated by the Romans at the time, they still were the predominant religious Jewish authority.

We see in verse 2 the second person named, Jesus Christ. This is who Nicodemus came to by night. Some have said that the reason for this is because it was harder to be discovered that he was going to see Jesus if he went by night.

Verse 2 gives something of an admission. Nicodemus was definitely someone who had a differing opinion from the common opinion of the Pharisees regarding who Jesus was. He calls Jesus “Rabbi,” which would have been a sign of respect for sure. He also seems to admit something, and he’s admitting it not just on behalf of himself, but on behalf of all the Pharisees. He says, “We know”—the “we” meaning he and his tribe, he and his constituents, he and his Pharisaical group. “Rabbi, we know that thou art a teacher come from God.” He says, “We know you’re from God.” How do we know that? He says, “For no man can do these miracles that thou doest, except God be with him. ”The signs that Jesus was doing, named over and over again even in the first couple chapters of John, were having the effect that Jesus intended them to have. You’ll know that someone has God’s blessing and authority at some level because they do the miracles. So Nicodemus really feels like he is conceding, no doubt, by meeting with Jesus and by admitting that he believed that Jesus was on God’s side.

Application

Of course, this was not enough, and we’ll see that through the rest of the conversation. It may have seemed like it was a big admission or a big concession, but it did not go far enough for this man Nicodemus to be right with God, to get to heaven. The rest of the conversation deals with the kingdom of God and heaven—how you get there.I think an application that we can see here is clear. It may feel like you’re doing enough to get to God or that you are on God’s side by being reilgious. The truth is Jesus is the one who determines how far is far enough in terms of getting to God. God is the authority on how you have a relationship with Him, not man. To be a little bit off is to miss heaven.

Discussion Question

Is what you believe about God in line with what God has said about Himself?​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Have you ever been ashamed or embarrassed about considering Jesus Christ?

Notice how Jesus responded to a surge in popularity in response to his miracles.

(23) Now when he was in Jerusalem at the passover, in the feast day, many believed in his name, when they saw the miracles which he did. (24) But Jesus did not commit himself unto them, because he knew all men, (25) And needed not that any should testify of man: for he knew what was in man. (John 2:23-25)

What does Jesus think of popularity?

This text speaks of the response of the mob, the crowd, in Jerusalem to the miracles of Jesus.  There was an excitement and acceptance of Jesus based on the miracles that he did.  It was the popular thing to talk about and accept what he was doing, but Jesus did not want to be treated like a passing fad.  

Notice all the plural language talking about multiple people.  Many, they, them, all men, any.  Even the word “man” is used like we would use “mankind”.  It’s not that this didn’t manifest itself individually.  It’s that Jesus was not driven by popularity.  He didn’t want to be received only as the latest new thing.  He did not “commit himself” or place his trust in their acceptance of him.  Why?  “Because he knew all men”.  His hope for success was not based on the acceptance of the crowd.

These couple of verses flows thematically into John 3, where Nicodemus is coming by night admitting that the miracles of Jesus were making many realize that Jesus was from God.  This conversation that follows shows that Jesus knew what was in the heart of Nicodemus individually, as well as the crowd that had an opinion of him.

Thinking about how Jesus knows us.

Jesus knows our hearts.  This is a terrible and ferocious reality.  He knows every thought, motivation, and feeling that I have.  He knows everything about me, and died for me anyway.  He is the only hope for cleansing and leading my heart in righteousness.

Jesus wants genuine faith.  When it comes to our spiritual lives, we must not be swayed by the crowd.  We don’t follow Jesus more when its popular to do so than when it will lead to persecution.  The cultures of men ebb and flow, but individually we must be steadfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord.

We should be more concerned with what God thinks than what men think.  It matters what God thinks of us infinitely more than what man thinks of us.  We are eternal beings living forever somewhere.  We should live accordingly.

Questions for application

1. Is your heart where it needs to be when it comes to Jesus?
2. How are you tempted to go with the crowd?

The people that heard Jesus sign were thoroughly confused. Maybe you would be, too!

(20) Then said the Jews, Forty and six years was this temple in building, and wilt thou rear it up in three days? (21) But he spake of the temple of his body. (22) When therefore he was risen from the dead, his disciples remembered that he had said this unto them; and they believed the scripture, and the word which Jesus had said.  (John 2:20-22)

What was Jesus talking about?

The idea that it would only take Jesus 3 days to re-raise the temple was preposterous to those who demanded a sign from Him.  They give an accurate accounting as to how long it took to erect the temple at the time of this writing.

John though helps us to understand what Jesus was referencing.   He called his body the temple, and announced that He would raise it up in three days.  This would not have been in their mind at all.  It seems that Jesus is concealing the sign for future understanding.  They seemed to demand a sign to signify His authority in the moment, and He does not satisfy what they want.  He gives them a sign for sure, but does not yield His authority to them by submitting to their request in their way.

Verse 22 points again to the purpose of the book, to help the reader believe on Jesus.  He points out that the disciples remember this after Jesus rose.  It says they “believed the scripture”.  It could have been scripture like Psalms 16:8-11.

[8] I have set the LORD always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. [9] Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope. [10] For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption. [11] Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore. (Psalm 16:8-11)

Not only has the Old Testament predicted Jesus resurrection, but Jesus himself predicted it here and in other instances recorded in the Gospels.

This gave the disciples great courage later.  They went from being fearful after his death, to being bold after His resurrection once they had the indwelling of the Holy Spirit and believed in the reality of what they had seen and heard.  This is what Peter and John said to the very people who killed Jesus.

[18] And they called them, and commanded them not to speak at all nor teach in the name of Jesus. [19] But Peter and John answered and said unto them, Whether it be right in the sight of God to hearken unto you more than unto God, judge ye. [20] For we cannot but speak the things which we have seen and heard. [21] So when they had further threatened them, they let them go, finding nothing how they might punish them, because of the people: for all men glorified God for that which was done. (Acts 4:18-21)

There is no greater demonstration of the authority of Jesus Christ than the Gospel- that he was crucified for our sins according to the scriptures, and that he was buried and rose again the third day according to the scriptures.

We should respond to this in three ways, among others.

We should believe.  The purpose for which John gives the narrative is that we should believe.  Jesus Christ is the only begotten Son of God and is the only way to get to God through forgiveness of sin by trusting in Him.  We should repent and believe on Him.

We should be bold.  What was predicted by Jesus is exactly what happened.  He called His shot and then made it.  Should we obey men rather than God?  Eternity is too long to go against the God who gave us His Son.  We should go with Him, and try to get everyone we can to hear the Gospel so that they can go, too.

We should obey.  Jesus is in charge.  He has the authority to deal with my sin, and to correct my wrong thinking and behavior.  He is in charge.

Application Questions

1. Have you placed your faith in Jesus Christ?
2. Are you bold or are you ashamed?  Who have you told about Jesus lately?
3. Is there some area of your life that you are treating as off limits to the authority of Jesus Christ?  Stop!  Obey!