By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not. I will rise now, and go about the city in the streets, and in the broad ways I will seek him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not. The watchmen that go about the city found me: to whom I said, Saw ye him whom my soul loveth? It was but a little that I passed from them, but I found him whom my soul loveth: I held him, and would not let him go, until I had brought him into my mother’s house, and into the chamber of her that conceived me.Song of Solomon 3:1-4
In today’s text the maiden has a dream. In her dream she cannot find her beloved. She is going about the city streets looking to no avail. She asks for others to help her and they do not know about where her beloved one is. Finally she finds him. Notice the passion in her search, and in her finding him. She describes him as “him whom my soul loveth.” She is describing her love as the innermost love that someone can have as it comes from her soul. She says that she “held him” and “would not let him go.” This is a very passionate description.
But even with this much passion in her description, notice where she takes him in the dream. She does not take him to her bedroom. She takes him to her mother’s house and her mother’s room. This demonstrates restraint on her part. She does not yet give herself physically to him. She is anticipating their marriage to each other, but is restraining herself from getting involved sexually before the wedding day.
So many people tend to think of freedom as a lack of restraint. But the truth of the matter is that true freedom comes from discipline. Restraint and discipline bring freedom. God’s design for sex and intimacy is to restrain it to marriage. Marriage relationships are based on trust. Would you trust a spouse more who was restrained and committed to you before their marriage or one who was unrestrained? Who would you be able to trust more, and therefore be more intimate with? Certainly the one who had been trustworthy before marriage.
• Is there any area of your life that is unrestrained when it comes to God’s will?
• Where do you need more discipline in your life?