Tag: Marriage

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Lessons from Jesus at the Wedding in Cana (John 2:1-4)

On By Ben JenningsIn DevotionalLeave a comment

(1) And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there: (2) And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage. (3) And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith unto him, They have no wine. (4) Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I to do with thee?  mine hour is not yet come. (John 2:1-4)

Explain:

And the third day…

One commentator notes that John deliberately highlights the opening week of Christ’s ministry.  Later John highlights the end of Jesus’ ministry, and here he higlights the beginning.  John’s Gospel references the first day in 1:35, the second day in 1:43, and the third day in 2:1.

…there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee; 

Jewish weddings were community-wide celebrations that typically lasted seven days. The bride’s family financed the wedding itself, while the groom covered the costs of the celebration festivities. The ceremony represented the completion of the engagement period, which usually spanned several months. 

During this engagement period, the couple would be together enough that if it ended it would take a divorce.  They did not consummate the relationship until the end of the betrothal at the end of the wedding.  Remember that this is what was even said about Joseph when he considered “putting away” Mary.  (Matthew 1:18-19).

The wedding ceremony typically took place on Wednesday evening. The groom and his companions would travel to the bride’s residence, then accompany her and her attendants back to the groom’s home, where both the ceremony and feast occurred (Matthew 25:1-10). The celebration concluded with the consummation of the marriage.

So Jesus was there for a week long celebration.

and the mother of Jesus was there:

Some say that she was mentioned in such a way as to suggest she was helping to host the even with the family.

And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage.

They were all called to the wedding.  Suggests that they were all part of the same community.

And when they wanted wine,

Wine?  What is the nature of the wine? The wine served had been fermented, but in the ancient world they had no refrigeration, and flavoring of beverages were limited. To have a flavored drink that quenched thirst and did not make someone drunk, wine was diluted with water to a place where drunkeness would not happen. Because of a lack of water purification process, wine mixed with water was also safer to drink than water alone.

Certainly Jesus was not fostering drunkenness. Proverbs says,

[1] Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise. (Proverbs 20:1)

Drunkenness is always condemned in the scripture. Strong drink, or unmixed drink, is condemned, except when being used in medicinal ways.  What we call “wine” today is the strong drink of the Old Testament.

the mother of Jesus saith unto him, They have no wine

Something suggested in the statement of Mary.  “They have no wine.” It seems to suggest that she thought he could do something about it. This is inferred in Jesus’ answer to her.

Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come.

There is a theme in John speaking of Jesus’ coming hour.

John 4:21  Jesus saith unto her, Woman, believe me, the hour cometh, when ye shall neither in this mountain, nor yet at Jerusalem, worship the Father.

John 4:23  But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him.

John 5:25  Verily, verily, I say unto you, The hour is coming, and now is, when the dead shall hear the voice of the Son of God: and they that hear shall live.

John 5:28  Marvel not at this: for the hour is coming, in the which all that are in the graves shall hear his voice,

John 7:30  Then they sought to take him: but no man laid hands on him, because his hour was not yet come.

John 8:20  These words spake Jesus in the treasury, as he taught in the temple: and no man laid hands on him; for his hour was not yet come.

John 12:23  And Jesus answered them, saying, The hour is come, that the Son of man should be glorified.

John 12:27  Now is my soul troubled; and what shall I say? Father, save me from this hour: but for this cause came I unto this hour.

John 13:1  Now before the feast of the passover, when Jesus knew that his hour was come that he should depart out of this world unto the Father, having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end.

John 16:21  A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world.

John 16:32  Behold, the hour cometh, yea, is now come, that ye shall be scattered, every man to his own, and shall leave me alone: and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with me.

John 17:1  These words spake Jesus, and lifted up his eyes to heaven, and said, Father, the hour is come; glorify thy Son, that thy Son also may glorify thee:

It seems clear that Jesus understood why he was on the earth, and that his hour represented the time for which he would perform the purpose for which he came. It was in his ministry, as it went public, that He revealed His identity and fulfilled His purpose.

This calling of Mary, “woman” was not a derogatory thing.  He was respecting his mother. It would be something like calling my mother, Mrs. Jennings.  It was distancing himself relationally from his mother for her concern in that moment. Mary needed to view Jesus as the Messiah and Son of God, and not necessarily as her boy.   In Jesus’ mind and heart, His mission was now the priority.

Application

The scripture says that Jesus was tempted in all points like as we are, yet without sin.   I think it is incredible to think that Jesus was on this earth, in a family, living in a village, connected to real people in community, and part of their every day life events like marriage.  He commended marriage by being there and being a blessing to this event.  He knows what its like to have a mom and dad.  He knows what its like to grow up, not only because He is God and has infinite knowledge, but because He experienced it.  As such, I can trust that what He tells me to do through His Word, and by His example is what I should do.  I should live as He compels me to live in my family, in my community, and in my time.

Response

  1. What does it mean to be like Jesus with your people, your family, your friends today?
  2. What does Jesus’ prioritizing of His purpose mean for you as an example this week?
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Marriage is Honorable! Hebrews 13:4

On By Ben JenningsIn Devotional2 Comments

4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Hebrews 13:4

Explanation

Over the weekend I was able to perform a marriage between two people who are attending our church.   It was a beautiful thing.  Many things happened during the whole event- a rehearsal, a ceremony, and a reception.  Families and friends gathered, some as old friends, and others beginning life long relationships where they might share children and grandchildren.  The event was many things, but at its fundamental essence it was the bringing together of two lives into one in a covenant with each other.  There was the exchanging of vows:

I, [Groom], take you [Bride], to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

There is also the exchanging of rings that sets forth the symbol of that covenant.

This ring is a token of my love for you. With this ring, I pledge my life and all I have to you. With this ring I thee wed.

Marriage is a covenantal.  It is by necessity a covenant between a man and a woman.  If it is a covenant between any other parties it is by definition no longer marriage.  Marriage is God’s idea.  He set it forth in the garden.  Read with me in Genesis 2:18.

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

Genesis 2:18

The word “meet” is the word for “appropriate for”, or “compatible with”, and must needs be woman.  It takes a man and a woman to become one and reproduce.  This is the idea.  Look at how God revealed how he created woman and brought them together in Genesis 2:21-25

(21) And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; (22) And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. (23) And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 

Genesis 2:21-23

In Genesis 2 we are told that this is how God made woman for man and man for woman.  We are told the reason why- “It is not good that man should be alone.”

Genesis 2 also tells us what it means for us today.  The author goes from telling us what happened, to giving us explanation as to the fact that God’s decision in the garden with Adam and Eve is the foundation of what happens today in marriage.  With the first “therefore” in Genesis we are told this:

(24) Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 

Genesis 2:24

Mom’s and Dad’s produce children.  They raise children.  Then the children are sent to find a help “meet” for them.  This is God’s plan.  This is the pattern He set up.  He created it.  He ordained it.  He calls it good.

In our passage today, the scripture says that  when it comes to marriage “the bed” is “undefiled”.   This means that sexual pleasure in the exclusive context of marriage between that man and that woman is God’s gift to the married couple.  This has a basis back in Genesis 2 as well.

(25) And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Genesis 2:25

There should be no shame in a man and a woman in covenant of marriage enjoying each other in the way God created.  God ordained and defined sexuality between a husband and a wife is a beautiful amazing thing.  It should be done in love, with the Husband thinking exclusively about His wife, and the wife considering her husband.  Mutual submission to each other in every way is the essence of marriage, and in this area is a beautiful gift of God.  There is no shame in it.

Conversely, there should be a shame in nakedness between people who are not married.  There are parts of our bodies that are reserved for our spouse.  They are not for everyone.  They are for our husband or our wife.  

Back to Hebrews, God promises something to “whoremongers and adulterers”.  People who trample on this intention about sexuality, not viewing it or treating it with the sacredness and exclusivity God intended, will be judged.  

God’s view of human sexuality is clear.  Marriage is the domain for sexual expression.  One man and one woman in covenant relationship for one lifetime is the definition of marriage.  It is a beautiful thing.

Application

The implications are clear and vast.

We should avoid anything that is sexual with anyone other than our spouse- our husband or wife.

We should give ourselves to our spouses emotionally, relationally and physically in selfless love.

We should define marriage the way God defines it, one man and one woman for a lifetime.

We should not let the culture define differently for us what God has already clearly defined.

We should flee fornication.  This includes every kind of sexual sin outside of marriage:

  • Lust
  • Pornography
  • Adultery
  • Co-habitation
  • Unbiblical Divorce and Remarriage
  • Homosexuality
  • Transgenderism
  • Beastiality
  • Polygamy 

There are people who say, “That stuff is all over the Bible, especially the Old Testament.”  The truth is that the Bible is often descriptive rather than prescriptive.  It is not describing what should happen, but rather what did happen.  In fact, when you see these things happening in the Old Testament,  you often see the pain and heartache that comes with doing things outside of the boundaries that God set.

Response

Lord, help me protect my eyes and my heart in this area of my sexual life.  Help me to have a heart, and a body exclusively for Megan and no one else. Help me to love you and serve you in this way.  Amen!

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Personal Admiration- Song of Solomon- Week 13- Day 4

On By Ben JenningsIn DevotionalLeave a comment

My beloved is white and ruddy, the chiefest among ten thousand. His head is as the most fine gold, his locks are bushy, and black as a raven. His eyes are as the eyes of doves by the rivers of waters, washed with milk, and fitly set. His cheeks are as a bed of spices, as sweet flowers: his lips like lilies, dropping sweet smelling myrrh. His hands are as gold rings set with the beryl: his belly is as bright ivory overlaid with sapphires. His legs are as pillars of marble, set upon sockets of fine gold: his countenance is as Lebanon, excellent as the cedars. His mouth is most sweet: yea, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.

Song of Solomon 5:10-16

Explanation:
In response to the question of the daughters of Jerusalem, the wife gives an admirable and beautiful description of her husband, going from head to toe and then back to his mouth. It is clear that she knows, loves and reveres her husband.

Near the end she calls him both “beloved” (“lover”) and “friend.” She knows him and admires him physically, emotionally and relationally.

This description of the husband is not unlike the descriptions in other parts of the book of the wife by the husband. There is a mutual admiration and submission to each spouse in the book.

Application:
One can be faithful to their spouse out of mere duty. The best marriages though exhibit faithfulness to each other out of delight.
The pursuit of our spouse ought to be of top priority for husbands and wives alike. When we admire our spouse with the right attitude, it produces a love and a longing for them that helps the marriage relationship. We must find our sole romantic delight in them alone. If we don’t “feel” this way we should “act our way into that feeling.”

Response:
• How can you express your admiration for your spouse to them this week in a fun and unique way? Do it!

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Public Proclamation- Song of Solomon- Week 13- Day 3

On By Ben JenningsIn DevotionalLeave a comment

I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, if ye find my beloved, that ye tell him, that I am sick of love. What is thy beloved more than another beloved, O thou fairest among women? what is thy beloved more than another beloved, that thou dost so charge us?

Song of Solomon 5:8-9

Explanation:
Here the wife is talking to the “daughters of Jerusalem”, a group that she has spoken to before (3:1-5). She asks them to convey the message to her husband that she is sick because of the amount of love that she has for him. She loves him, but he is gone. She longs for her husband, and wants others to know about her desire for him. She is not worried that other women know how much she loves and longs for her husband.

In the other instances in Song of Solomon when the daughters of Jerusalem are spoken to, they seem to help or to buy into things. Here they question her back. What is the question? In essense they ask, “What makes your beloved so special, that you ask us to help you?” They seem to possibly have a different perspective about her husband than she does. Again, this is a good thing.

The wife then sees this then as an opportunity to describe her husband in a way that she would not be able to describe any other man. Again, there is an exclusive, intimate relationship not like any other relationship in her life.

Application:
The public position that a spouse should take about their mate is one of love and respect. Here the wife is making it clear to others that she thinks highly of her husband.
It is important that we not put our wives or husbands down privately or publicly. Publicly mocking or teasing our spouse can be problematic for the intimacy of the relationship. Publicly admiring and praising our spouse can be healthy and prevent problems down the road.

Response:
• What would others give as evidence of your love and admiration for your spouse?