4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Hebrews 13:4

Explanation

Over the weekend I was able to perform a marriage between two people who are attending our church.   It was a beautiful thing.  Many things happened during the whole event- a rehearsal, a ceremony, and a reception.  Families and friends gathered, some as old friends, and others beginning life long relationships where they might share children and grandchildren.  The event was many things, but at its fundamental essence it was the bringing together of two lives into one in a covenant with each other.  There was the exchanging of vows:

I, [Groom], take you [Bride], to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

There is also the exchanging of rings that sets forth the symbol of that covenant.

This ring is a token of my love for you. With this ring, I pledge my life and all I have to you. With this ring I thee wed.

Marriage is a covenantal.  It is by necessity a covenant between a man and a woman.  If it is a covenant between any other parties it is by definition no longer marriage.  Marriage is God’s idea.  He set it forth in the garden.  Read with me in Genesis 2:18.

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

Genesis 2:18

The word “meet” is the word for “appropriate for”, or “compatible with”, and must needs be woman.  It takes a man and a woman to become one and reproduce.  This is the idea.  Look at how God revealed how he created woman and brought them together in Genesis 2:21-25

(21) And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; (22) And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. (23) And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 

Genesis 2:21-23

In Genesis 2 we are told that this is how God made woman for man and man for woman.  We are told the reason why- “It is not good that man should be alone.”

Genesis 2 also tells us what it means for us today.  The author goes from telling us what happened, to giving us explanation as to the fact that God’s decision in the garden with Adam and Eve is the foundation of what happens today in marriage.  With the first “therefore” in Genesis we are told this:

(24) Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 

Genesis 2:24

Mom’s and Dad’s produce children.  They raise children.  Then the children are sent to find a help “meet” for them.  This is God’s plan.  This is the pattern He set up.  He created it.  He ordained it.  He calls it good.

In our passage today, the scripture says that  when it comes to marriage “the bed” is “undefiled”.   This means that sexual pleasure in the exclusive context of marriage between that man and that woman is God’s gift to the married couple.  This has a basis back in Genesis 2 as well.

(25) And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Genesis 2:25

There should be no shame in a man and a woman in covenant of marriage enjoying each other in the way God created.  God ordained and defined sexuality between a husband and a wife is a beautiful amazing thing.  It should be done in love, with the Husband thinking exclusively about His wife, and the wife considering her husband.  Mutual submission to each other in every way is the essence of marriage, and in this area is a beautiful gift of God.  There is no shame in it.

Conversely, there should be a shame in nakedness between people who are not married.  There are parts of our bodies that are reserved for our spouse.  They are not for everyone.  They are for our husband or our wife.  

Back to Hebrews, God promises something to “whoremongers and adulterers”.  People who trample on this intention about sexuality, not viewing it or treating it with the sacredness and exclusivity God intended, will be judged.  

God’s view of human sexuality is clear.  Marriage is the domain for sexual expression.  One man and one woman in covenant relationship for one lifetime is the definition of marriage.  It is a beautiful thing.

Application

The implications are clear and vast.

We should avoid anything that is sexual with anyone other than our spouse- our husband or wife.

We should give ourselves to our spouses emotionally, relationally and physically in selfless love.

We should define marriage the way God defines it, one man and one woman for a lifetime.

We should not let the culture define differently for us what God has already clearly defined.

We should flee fornication.  This includes every kind of sexual sin outside of marriage:

• Lust
• Pornography
• Adultery
• Co-habitation
• Unbiblical Divorce and Remarriage
• Homosexuality
• Transgenderism
• Beastiality
• Polygamy 

There are people who say, “That stuff is all over the Bible, especially the Old Testament.”  The truth is that the Bible is often descriptive rather than prescriptive.  It is not describing what should happen, but rather what did happen.  In fact, when you see these things happening in the Old Testament,  you often see the pain and heartache that comes with doing things outside of the boundaries that God set.

Response

Lord, help me protect my eyes and my heart in this area of my sexual life.  Help me to have a heart, and a body exclusively for Megan and no one else. Help me to love you and serve you in this way.  Amen!