Tag: Marriage

timon studler abgavhjxwdq unsplash

Public Gaze- Song of Solomon- Week 13- Day 2

On By Ben JenningsIn Devotional2 Comments

The watchmen that went about the city found me, they smote me, they wounded me; the keepers of the walls took away my veil from me.

Song of Solomon 5:7

Explanation:
In the previous search found in chapter 3:1-4, the watchman were questioned, but could not help in her search for her beloved. In this text they are hurting her. They are wounding her. They took away her veil. What does this mean? There are several considerations we must acknowledge.

First, we must remember that this is poetic, possibly the description of a dream, and not the documentation of a historical event.

Second, she has gone from the privacy of the marriage bedroom, to the public venue of the city.

Thirdly, these are the only other men in this passage. There is the contrast of her husband with the watchmen. Her husband is altogether lovely, and treats her sweetly. He is the best. The watchmen beat her, wound her, and leave her feeling exposed.

Lastly, we see here the intimacy of marriage contrasted with her relationship to the outside world. In her husband she finds security and safety. In her husband she finds beauty and her needs are satisfied. In these watchmen she finds exposure and danger.

Application:
Wives and husbands should have a contrasting relationship with their spouse than they do any other relationship. Their relationship should be unique. It should be exclusive. The public relationship to other people should be wholly different than the intimate relationship with the spouse.

Response:
• Is there any way in which your relationship with the outside world is effecting the intimacy of your marriage (either present marriage or future marriage)?

distant couple pic

Physical & Emotional Distance- Song of Solomon- Week 13- Day 1

On By Ben JenningsIn DevotionalLeave a comment

I opened to my beloved; but my beloved had withdrawn himself, and was gone: my soul failed when he spake: I sought him, but I could not find him; I called him, but he gave me no answer.

Song of Solomon 5:6

Explanation:
The key factor in interpretation is authorial intent. What did this mean to the author and to the original audience? One of the factors that governs and impacts this question is the genre of the scripture we are are reading. Poetic literature like the Song of Solomon is different than didactic literature like the epistle to the Romans. A poem uses metaphor, simile, and figurative language to convey ideas and emotions.

This being the case means that taking a conclusive definitive stand on what every word means to the author and his audience in this passage is difficult. Yet there are some principles and applications that we can draw from these verses.

This passage mirrors the dream passage of 3:1-5 that we studied last week. She opens the door to her bedroom thinking that her husband is there, but he is gone. She had heard him speak, but when she opened the door he was gone.

Similarly to the last dream, she sought passionately for her husband, but she could not find him. It is clear that she missed her husband. It is also clear that she reveres her husband. She uses dramatic language to describe the effects of his words and his absence on her.

Application:
The husband and wife relationship should be one that is close and intimate. One of the dangers that happens in marriage is when there is an emotional distance. Husbands can pour themselves into their work or their hobbies and can become distant from their spouses. Wives can focus on the children and lose the passion for their marriage. Either spouse can lose passion for their mate when they allow for romantic intimacy in some other relationship. All kinds of things can rob us of intimacy. Entertainment, Social Media, Smart Phones, TV’s, Hobbies, and the like all vie for our time and attention.
Husbands must not let these pursuits stop them from continuing to pursue their wives romantically. Wives must continue to revere and respect their husbands and long to be with them.

Response
• Are you available to your spouse?
• Are you pursuing your spouse?
• If you are single, are you maintaining your relationships well, or focused on your own personal satisfaction to the exclusion of others?

xu haiwei jre 2th2bvk unsplash

Restraint- Proverbs- Session 12- Day 4

On By Ben JenningsIn DevotionalLeave a comment

By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not. I will rise now, and go about the city in the streets, and in the broad ways I will seek him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not. The watchmen that go about the city found me: to whom I said, Saw ye him whom my soul loveth? It was but a little that I passed from them, but I found him whom my soul loveth: I held him, and would not let him go, until I had brought him into my mother’s house, and into the chamber of her that conceived me.

Song of Solomon 3:1-4

Explanation:
In today’s text the maiden has a dream. In her dream she cannot find her beloved. She is going about the city streets looking to no avail. She asks for others to help her and they do not know about where her beloved one is. Finally she finds him. Notice the passion in her search, and in her finding him. She describes him as “him whom my soul loveth.” She is describing her love as the innermost love that someone can have as it comes from her soul. She says that she “held him” and “would not let him go.” This is a very passionate description.
But even with this much passion in her description, notice where she takes him in the dream. She does not take him to her bedroom. She takes him to her mother’s house and her mother’s room. This demonstrates restraint on her part. She does not yet give herself physically to him. She is anticipating their marriage to each other, but is restraining herself from getting involved sexually before the wedding day.

Application:
So many people tend to think of freedom as a lack of restraint. But the truth of the matter is that true freedom comes from discipline. Restraint and discipline bring freedom. God’s design for sex and intimacy is to restrain it to marriage. Marriage relationships are based on trust. Would you trust a spouse more who was restrained and committed to you before their marriage or one who was unrestrained? Who would you be able to trust more, and therefore be more intimate with? Certainly the one who had been trustworthy before marriage.

Response:
• Is there any area of your life that is unrestrained when it comes to God’s will?
• Where do you need more discipline in your life?

jeremy wong weddings yyvpmn6pb3i unsplash

Timing- Song of Solomon- Week 12- Day 3

On By Ben JenningsIn DevotionalLeave a comment

Until the day break, and the shadows flee away, turn, my beloved, and be thou like a roe or a young hart upon the mountains of Bether.

Song of Solomon 2:17

Explanation:
There are times as an interpreter of God’s Word where you are confident in your interpretation, and other times where multiple interpretations may seem to be plausible. I readily admit to you that I am not convictional about the exact interpretation of this verse. Rather, I am giving you a plausible interpretation based on the context of the passage.

The word translated “until” is also translated “when” in other parts of the Old Testament. I believe that this is in keeping with this passage. You can tell the anticipation that the maiden has for the coming wedding with her beloved. When they are married there will be a “day break” and the “shadows” will “flee away.” She tells him to “turn” and “be like a roe or a young hart.” She has already alluded to him as a deer, and she does here again. These animals are known for being fast and playful. She asks him to be like these animals “upon the mountains of Bether.” There are no geographical mountains known as the mountains of “Bether.” The word “Bether” means “split”, “divided”, or “cut.” Many commentators see this as a subtle way of the maiden speaking of her own body. This is a poetic way for the maiden to tell her beloved that when they are married, she is ready to give herself fully to him.

Application:
There is a timing that is morally correct and honoring to God when it comes to our sexual lives. The Biblical teaching on sex is that God has made the man for woman and the woman for man. God’s plan for sex is for it to be for one man and one woman for a lifetime. Once a man and woman have committed to each other in marriage, they can and should fully give themselves to their mate physically. The two shall be one flesh.

There is an old saying that sex is like fire. In its proper place in the home, the fireplace, it can pleasantly warm the house. If it is anywhere else in the home it can burn the house down.

Like the maiden here, we must be careful to keep our sexual selves only for our spouse and only in the context of marriage.

Response:
• Is there any part of your life where you are practicing sexuality outside of the marriage relationship?
• If you are married, are you being selfless in your expression of intimacy with your spouse?